this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
