You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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