i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
