how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
