Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
