we're blogging at a bar
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
