you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
