If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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