Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
