that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Drunk is a universal language darling
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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