I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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