Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
