Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
