i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
