I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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