i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
