his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
