I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize