he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize