why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
