This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
