Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
How does one acquire holy water?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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