i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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