Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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