I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
