I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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