Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
