The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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