I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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