ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
