I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
her vagine was all disorganized.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
