could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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