I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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