Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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