no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
