Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
