yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It's blow job season.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Randomize
