OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
