i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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