is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
