Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
