look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
