he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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