wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
