We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
