I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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