My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize