Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
