If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize