It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
