Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
