And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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