Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
