I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
