When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
