do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
