if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
