just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
