Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize