Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
