I wannas sexs uuuuu
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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