Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
