how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
