So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
It's rum buckets o'clock
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
