i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
