If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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