maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You were trust falling into bushes
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
