no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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