drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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