It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
